Roots

Why Should the Devil have All the Good Music?

-Larry Norman

Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.

-The Apostle Paul, in his letter to the Colossians

I've been changing my mind recently on a topic that I never, ever, ever thought to change my mind on. I'm pretty surprised myself, after being a young teenager of the 1990s-wearing every Christian t-shirt known to man and buying WWJD bracelets. I used to purchase every new Steven Curtis Chapman and Michael W. Smith album, and can probably recite all the lyrics of "Shine" by the Newsboys. Reading lots of Gilbert Morris and Frank Perretti novels, I also bought a lot of Christian POGS. And Redemption cards. Anyway, I've come a long way since then. I've worked at Christian camps and Christian bookstores and Christian software companies, enough to give me a sometimes(ok, mostly) cynical view of things labeled "Christian." Don't get me wrong-some of it is great stuff and has helped me tremendously on my walk of faith-I love writers like Henri Nouwen, Frederick Buechner, G.K. Chesterton, Dorothy Sayers, Philip Yancy, Gary Thomas, Charles Spurgeon, Fenelon, and musicians like Keith Green, Wes King, Leeland, the David Crowder Band, Ten Shekel Shirt, and so many more. Some of it should make us all cringe. Like the shirt that says, "Jesus is My Easy Button," or a book that compared faith to going through a drive-thru window and ordering whatever you want from God. Ouch.

Anyway, the thing I've been changing my mind about is...wait for it...CHRISTIAN MUSIC. Let me back up. I used to think that Christians should only listen and read Christian material...whatever that means. I think it meant buying all material at the Christian bookstore. Then I was introduced to the little idea that for the Christian, there is no sacred and secular divide. Not that it is a license to read and watch and imbibe everything-but that truth can be found in unlikely places, that Christians need not fear the so-called secular. I've found that some so-called "secular" movies or books have a stronger Christian worldview than many items I sold at the Christian bookstore. The Count of Monte Cristo, anyone? Gilead by Marianne Robinson? Vanity Fair? Foyle's War? The King's Speech? So I started to explore other kinds of music, other kinds of movies, other kinds of books. And I've found some fantastic offerings! I've mentioned on this blog before how sad music helped me with a serious bout of depression a few years ago-Patsy Cline, She & Him, Brandi Carlile. Sad music helped me process and name my grief at that time, much like Psalms in the Old Testament. Melancholy music will probably always be my favorite, for whatever reason. But lately I've been realizing my need for more faith-based music in my life. And I can't believe it, really-me, who used to scoff at all the bandwagons everyone hopped on (Left Behind, Purpose Driven Life, Thomas Kincaide, Emerging Church), who rolled eyes at the stacks of Christian romance novels people would buy, and the music that only seemed to be the "Christian" version of whatever was popular outside the church.

I still believe there's a place for being wary of accepting whatever is labeled Christian. For sure. There's so many lackluster products and mediocre stories that are told just because it's dubbed a certain way. I want to support good art, good entertainment, regardless of if it is sold at at a Christian bookstore or not. We need to be discerning of whatever we choose to entertain, to instruct us.  But in the last few years I've been dealing with chronic pain, chronic illness. Melancholy tunes are not always the best choice for me. My husband and I went on a little road trip to the coast last month, and we listened and sang along to every cd in the car on the way. Awesome. Ben had a cd with some Christian music on it that I didn't know, and I really liked it! I actually ENJOYED listening to it. I shocked myself. I think I'd stopped believing that the Christian music had anything to offer outside of Sunday morning. Then I realized that I still need good music that reminds me of Christ, reminds me of who He is, and reminds me that I'm not on my own here. I'm coming full circle back to a place for Christian music, leaving some crusty cynicism behind, and filling my head and heart with some reminding truth. As someone who constantly struggles with depression, and who lives in a culture where entertainment defines the individual, leaving my comfortable skepticism behind has been a little rough. I cling to my incredulity, which is a little too easy sometimes. I pride myself on things I like, and don't we all? And although I won't be giving up my crooningly sad tunes, I'm ready to balance out my listening habits with a little more doctrine, a little more truth about the universe and the good news of Christ. I see it as a kind of daily communion for the ears and for the heart-the act of communion-the eating of the bread, the drinking of the juice-reminds us of Christ, reminds us of His life and death and resurrection. This simple act grounds us, plants us, identifies us with Christ. He knows we need reminding; He knows we are but dust. And the simple act of listening to music that reminds us of who He is and who we are is just what we need, too.

Some Favorite Albums:

The Sound of Melodies, Leeland

The Ministry Years, Keith Green

Risk, Ten Shekel Shirt

Illuminate, David Crowder Band

Best of, Bebo Norman

The Jesus Album, Rich Mullins

Best of, Jennifer Knapp

Hard

You can’t take back what you have done/You gotta keep your heart young.
-Brandi Carlile

In our tough and often unbending world our gentleness can be a vivid reminder of the presence of God among us.
-Henri Nouwen

I’m afraid the pain will make me hard. Anxious that the aches will dry up whatever gentleness I had left in me. That the pain will only give me eyes for myself. I see people all the time with chronic pain and the elderly in tired bodies. Some of them have deep lines etched into their faces, and even speaking or pulling out a piece of paper to hand me takes too much effort. Some of them speak soft and gentle, with eyes that know pain but still contain light. And  life and pain have taken too much from others still, leaving them with permanent pain lines, with an eternal sharp tone, always expecting the worst.

These are some of the bruised wicks, broken reeds among us. I suppose we really are all in chronic pain of some kind, chronic brokenness. I’ll be honest, I too feel like a bruised wick most of the time. Unable to hold a flame, or keep a light burning. Every day, I rise and wonder if this will be the day I can’t make it. Will the pain, the exhaustion be too much this day? Most days I can set my mouth and go about the day’s tasks, only to fall on my couch at the end of the day in a wrung-out heap. I can’t keep up with everything asked of me, or everything I want to do. And it seems like every time I start to do something healing, like take up walking or stretching or giving up dairy, something else happens to put me back to square one. Maybe it’s like climbing up a huge mountain and being told not to look down. Maybe it’s not always a good idea to dwell on where you’ve been and what you‘ve lost or given up. Maybe you really need to just focus on what’s in front of you. Take another step. When I stop to think about how long this journey to health has been going on, it’s discouraging. When I think of all the supplements, the rest, the Netflix marathons, the sick time taken, the waiting rooms, the tests, the food sensitivities, the unknowns, the suffered relationships, well-it’s heartbreaking.

With no obvious answers or ease of pain about to happen, I see these as choices before me…gentle or hard, soft or hard, tight or flexible, peaceful or anxious. What will I choose this day? I am determined to choose life, to choose faith. To do what I can do, and not merely focus on what I can’t. To be thankful for the gifts that God has given me-the husband, the grace, the friends, the family, the job, the freedom, the rain, the gospel, the God-Man of Jesus Himself, His precious Word, and words themselves. To still have eyes to see the glory of nature, the glory of humankind. To still have a heart that breaks with the sorrows of the world--bombings and kidnappings and lives broken and lost. To still have hands that can work and reach out to comfort others. To still have a sense of humor and goodwill in this world. To still have ears that hear the music of pianos and guitars and human voices and babies in churches and waiting rooms. To still have feet to sink sand-deep and run in waves. I will keep asking, seeking, knocking, and remember the gentleness and love of a Savior King who went through so much more for the redemption of this entire sad and beautiful world.