You have to walk like you have three men behind you.
-Oscar de la Renta
I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
-David, Psalm 139
My friend Amy once told me that it was ok, even good for bodies to change. Actually, she said that it was beautiful. This was after I told her I’d gained some weight and my face was oily and acne-scarred, and I was really upset about my haggard appearance. I hadn’t been exercising or taking much care of myself much. Honestly, there wasn’t much to be proud of whenever I looked in the mirror. When Amy said that Big Truth to me, I was stunned. Oh. Wait. Really? Yes, yes, it is good for bodies to age. No one had ever told me this. It’s beautiful for a 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90 year-old to freaking change, to not have the body of someone younger or with a different shape. It’s even beautiful to embrace and love whatever your body looks like. Own it, sister.
Since that time, I’ve started to see my body as a beautiful thing. I’ve never really heard that it’s ok to see it that way. I used to think I needed to hate it, beat up on it, only see the blemishes, only tell others about the flaws. I never felt really at home in my own body as a teenager, as a young adult. But I started to relax about it. I’ve been feeding my body cookies, kale, coconut oil AND coconut ice cream, carrots, cake, and some really weird hippie stuff. I let it lounge on the couch, then I try to take it on a walk or curl into a yoga pose. I also try to paint my toenails sometimes, or experiment with a curling iron. I want to feel pretty. I admit it! I give it loads of coffee, water, and the occasional margarita. What can I say...I’m all about hydration. I want to feel at home in my own skin. I want to feel my muscles move and become strong. I want to stretch and not die when I try to touch my toes. I want to feel free and love my body. There, I said it. And you know what, I think I really do.
Of course, it’s not that easy all the time, is it? I’ve been struggling with health for a few years, and it’s a slow process back to some kind of move-ability, health-ability. Food allergies kick one’s tail, it appears. So does stress. The mirror still tells me I look haggard and pale. So it’s been baby steps back to health. I’ve realized that health is not a given at any time. Health can be taken at any time, and put you back any number of devastating steps. There are times when I’m really tempted to be angry and tell my body it’s stupid. Ok, a lot of times. Fine, MOST TIMES. But then I think back to what Amy said, and then I remember truths about being fearfully and wonderfully made, and how Jesus came to heal sick and broken hearts and bodies, and I am encouraged to keep going, to keep trusting that even my sick body is worthy, lovely, and even beautiful. Just how it is. Un-toned. Unable to do even half a girl-pushup. Still acne-scarred. Covered and drenched in aches and pains most times. Participating in Mostly-No-Shave-Winter.
I believe that when we embrace our bodies as they are, maybe even be kind to them, we proclaim God’s glory in them. God’s glory and creativity and joy in life can be seen by everyone in our bodies. The apostle Paul, himself a man with physical troubles, says that if we are followers of Christ, then we carry in our bodies the death of Jesus. So that the life of Jesus may also be seen in the same bodies! Your body is worthy of kindness and attention-it carries around the essence of God Himself. What a glorious mystery, what a somber truth, what an astounding thing. Your body, as it is right now, is beautiful. Your body, as it is, shows the world His truth and love. Your body is a temple of the living God. Right now.
So go out there and give thanks by doing what makes you feel beautiful. Maybe even gorgeous? Drink lots of water. Buy new lip gloss. Don’t wait till you’ve lost weight or can run 30 minutes on the treadmill to buy a new sparkly dress or a gorgeous bouquet of fresh flowers. Go on a walk around your neighborhood. Have some friends over and make a meal. Do some art. Sit up straight. Write a poem. Take a really long hot bubble bath. Don’t forget your vitamin D if you live even remotely north of the equator. Go read Psalm 139 or 2 Corinthians 4. Do some yoga. I don’t know! It’s whatever makes you feel lovely and beautiful as you are.
