"More saving. More doing."
-Home Depot commercial
Be still and know that I am God.
-Psalm 46:10
People. It's July 17th. We're way into summer, and here in the good old town of Bellingham, we hit upwards of 85 degrees yesterday. Sweltering, I tell you. Positively sweltering, with a touch of fry-an-egg-on-the-sidewalk. Well, not that bad, really. But it's been hard to sleep in our apartment, and that's really how I know summer is making its presence known. The heat makes our place into a oven and it's hard to sleep while under a deep broil. But it makes me glad that even though I can't sleep, it means that summer is HERE. Every summer, I tell myself that THIS summer, I'm going to make the most of the sunny months, the long days and cool evenings. I'm going to do THINGS OF SUMMER. Make fresh strawberry jam. Host a million barbecues. Plan an ultimate frisbee game. Hike up a mountain or two. Take up kayaking or canoeing. Spend more time at the beach than indoors. You know. All the things that make summer a wonderfully sunburnt time of year, full of good memories and picnic food.
Well, I've got the sunburnt part down. And I've spent a little time by the water so far. We went on a couple of walks around Lake Padden. We had Father's Day out at Birch Bay. We did find some nifty chairs and a little table for our compact balcony, and we do sit out there fairly often. Aaaaaaand, that's about it. There's no strawberry jam in my freezer. I'm not even sure where my frisbee is. No mountains have been conquered. I don't even have the right shoes for kayaking. I'm assuming you need correct footgear? See, I don't even KNOW. And I'm more than reasonably sure that I've spent waaaaaaaaaaaaay more time indoors than out so far. You see, Masterchef and Hell's Kitchen and The Bachlorette (what is GOING ON this season??) are demanding my full attention. And my health is demanding plenty of couch time, meaning I've been guilty of canceling plans with friends, declining fun social things AGAIN, and generally taking it one day at a time. The usual.
I hate the thought of watching another summer, another year float through my fingers like clouds of July. It's so very hard to not equate a full life with full-on activity, you know? To equate busy-ness with the good life. I can't help but feel sometimes I'm pressed up against the glass and watching life and people march by on their merry way. Comparison (darn you, Facebook!) only increases my crazily high expectations for myself. When I find it hard to do the dishes or make dinner, how much harder is it to give myself a break when I can't kayak or hike the nearest trail? Doing things isn't always an option, and it's a daily process to decide if I push myself a little and get out there, or choose rest and the remote control or a book.
When I step back and stop equating real life with activity, stop comparing myself to my neighbors, I see that life...is...good. As it is. With its aches, pains, naps, Netflix marathons, and doctor's appointments. With its small beach trips, good conversations with good friends, trying new recipes, and good times with family. Accepting my limitations releases me from the dangerous game of comparison and expectations and can open my eyes to the good life I have, and this very good summer.
