Makes you feel like you’re already part of the past
Ray LaMontagne, Airwaves
Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.
Paul, in his letter to the Colossians
I want to be Superwoman.
Reality check.
I will never be Superwoman.
At least, not the one I envision in my head. I am an independent female with opinions and goals and responsibilities and relationships. But I also have chronic pain and fatigue. I’ve been trying, I realized, to be the exact same person as before my condition, and that’s just not realistic. I’m finally seeing this. It’s taken months (years?) to even see that I can’t do it all. Even if I didn’t have fibromyalgia, I still can’t do everything I think I should be doing. No one else expects me to do it all, have it all, be it all. I’m the only one who expects Superwoman status from myself.
I’m getting better, though, at adjusting my expectations because of fibro. Such as learning to ask for help. This is really hard for that Independent Female I mentioned earlier. Even with my husband, who is the kindest, most thoughtful man ever-he helps me with things before I even think to ask. Being chronically ill is a pride-buster, for sure. I am currently working through being able to widen my circle of people I would ask for help. That is a big step for me. I’m like a two-year old screaming: “I WANNA DO IT MYSELF!”
And of course, I’m working through asking God for help. How true for all of us, though, is that? Whatever our circumstances are, we always need to be working on asking God for help, for strength, for encouragement, for grace, for peace, for healing, for compassion. If we’re not ill ourselves, someone we know is sick or in pain. We are all in need, of things only God can give us.
It’s so hard to step back and remember that no one needs me to be Superwoman. It’s ok to adjust my heavy expectations for myself, and just live and do what I can, and try to do those things well. I will practice taking stock of where I’m at physically, admitting I need help, and definitely celebrate my ordinary and shining victories, small as they may seem. I will celebrate an afternoon of shopping, an evening of hanging out with friends. I will enjoy every moment of cooking a meal or dusting the bookcases. This seems to be a higher calling, a more realistic expectation than demanding super-human feats from myself.
"... I'm working through asking God for help. How true for all of us...is that?" AMEN! Thank you so much for writing and posting this. Love you, you wonderful you.
ReplyDeleteThank you, dear sis! Love you so much too!
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